Day 16 & 17 & 18
I haven’t conquered the late nights yet. I’m still sitting though.
Entries Tagged as '100 Hours Zazen'
Day 15
Simply could not get the mind to quiet. I gave in to it. Sat for the entire second half-hour just daydreaming. At least I sat.
Day 14
I seem to be specializing in meditating by the midnight oil. I finished around midnight, again. As many of you know, when we sit we are confronted head-on with ourselves. I put off that unpleasant task is long as possible – as if that could somehow make it easier.
All self-flagellation aside, I did sit. So far I haven”t missed a day. The last time I tried doing this, I made it to around 60 days. During a move from California to Washington – between packing and driving and unpacking – I just quit sitting. I could have used the calming side effects of meditating at the time. It just began to feel like one more thing added to an already overfull schedule. I wimped out 
The family is taking a trip soon and I’ll have to figure out a way to stay on the program while we’re traveling. The physical act of sitting won’t be difficult. As usual, the tricky part will be getting the mind to the cushion. I considered waiting until after our return, but that was really just a way to delay starting. There never really is an ideal time to start a new habit, is there?
Day 13
I’ve heard it said that there is no such thing as bad or good meditation. You sit; that’s all. That’s some comfort as I spent the entire time this day lost in thoughts. Screwing myself all up over past events, old hurts and unalterable mistakes. But that’s good, right?
I’ve also mastered the art of counting my breaths to a count of ten, over and over, without any awareness whatsoever of either the counting or the breath. It happens in the background, flawlessly and effortlessly. But I’m not there for it!
But I keep coming back.
Day 12 – Why Online
One of the most important aspects of any meditation program (or any training program really) is daily or at least regular practice. One of my hopes for this site is that it become a place in cyberspace where people can come to practice together.
Many have set up websites or blogs to allow people to support one another in their practice. Several reference the Tricycle Magazine Commit to Sit program: Commit to sit « Bad Buddha, Southern Palm Zen Group Blog: Commit to Sit, Meanderings of Gentle Gull: Commit to Sit, Volusia Buddhist Fellowship, COMMIT TO SIT by Vladimir Torres, So Many Other Dreams…: Commit to Sit.
Others around the 100 days, 100 hours model. Sites like: 100 Zazen Days, 108 Days and 100 Days. The three mentioned are no longer active. My plan is to follow this ‘model’ if you will. I am going to sit Zazen one hour each day for 100 days. Anyone who wants to join me can. Comment this post or any post in this series to let me know.
I guess that’s my answer to the question I posed earlier: Why “I’m doing it online”?
Join me. Let’s do this together. When the first 100 days is over, I’ll start again. The idea is after all to develop a daily practice, not succeed at a sitting marathon. 100 days is just something to focus on, not an endpoint.
Day 11
I think its Day 11 – I’ve sort of lost count. Very sad given its not that many days to keep track of. A quick look at the calendar confirms it – 11 whole days. I haven’t missed a day, at least. One day at a time.
I waited until the end of the day as usual, but a little later than usual. Past my bedtime. Sleepiness is not necessarily conducive to concentration. I slept well after, though.
Are you completely bored yet?
Day 8 & 9 & 10
Journaling every day is tougher than I thought. The hardest part, frankly, is that I’m boring myself. The practice is notoriously boring. Pretty much the same thing happens every time.
- sit down
- begin counting breaths
- counting fades into the background
- attention wanders
- bring it
- wanders
- back to the breath
- repeat again and again
- clock sounds
- get up
But that is the practice.
Day 7
I made it through the first week without missing a day. OK so I shouldn’t give in to pride. Given how long it’s been since I sat and all the false starts, I am proud of myself. Not too proud. It’s only the first week and I have at least 40 years to go 
Day 5 & 6
The stiffness has finally arrived. I doing some stretches to combat it. They’re helping.
I have been a little lax on keeping up with the journaling. There isn’t really much to say. I’m journaling this because I was told it is a good idea. I’m doing it online because…I’ll get back to you on that one.
Day 4
I honestly don’t believe I made it this far. It’s been months since I have sat on anything like a regular basis (read: more than once a month). There isn’t really even any stiffness.
Today I fell into the most simple of traps. I usually split the hour between two sittings. I sat down for the second sitting and felt fairly calm. Given the near disaster that almost resulted from setting up my IKEA Ivar shelf system with my laptop sitting on the shelf that the other shelf fell on… After a few moments I started thinking – there’s trouble right there – about how well it was going. (this is going well, wasn’t it?) My mind immediately started feeding me all sorts of distractions. Especially the sort to get the old adrenaline going. Boy do I love winning arguments, after the fact, when I control both sides of the discussion.
