Day 2?
Posted on March 8th, 2008 by Francis Maile
No really. I just can’t keep count anymore. I sit everyday and at some point I’ll figure out which day it is.
Every day.
Day 22
Posted on March 4th, 2008 by Francis Maile
So why Zazen anyway? Thats is a very good question. I don’t really know why I do it. Sure, a big reason is that I want enlightenment. I don’t know what that is, but I want it. Which I guess means I don’t know what it is I want. Which comes back around to not knowing why I do it.
An end to suffering could be the reason. What is suffering? Why is suffering? Who is it who is suffering? Perhaps the answers to those questions is what I am seeking. Perhaps that is why I do Zazen.
I sense somehow that this is a path I need to be on. I don’t know fully why just yet, but I sense that it is where I need to be going. Sort of like walking down a road in semi-darkness, knowing that the path is familiar without being able to discern the details of the path or clearly see the final destination. You keep going because you know somehow you will round a bend and find that whcih you seek.
Why do you sit?
Day 21
Posted on March 2nd, 2008 by Francis Maile
A new habit is born. Smack that puppy on the backside and welcome to the world. Well, we’ll see. I made it to day 50-something last time. Old habits – especially lazy habits – don’t die so easily. New ones must be nurtured.
But that isn’t really the point. Sit every day – except when I forget. I may make it all the way to 100 days. I may not. So far, I haven’t missed a day. Creating the habit of sitting is the point.
Having the goal helps establish that. Whether it be “Commit to Sit” with Tricycle Mag, 100 hours Zazen or some other program at your center or temple, having something to aim for can get us there. Setting a new goal and resetting again and again, can keeps us there.
Just keep coming back to the cushion. Just keep coming back to the breath.
Day 20
Posted on March 1st, 2008 by Francis Maile
One more day and a habit is born. Isn’t that what they say?
I’m starting to settle into a little – late nights notwithstanding. Just keep pluggin’ along. Bow, sit, get up, keep going.
Good Karma Plugin
Posted on March 1st, 2008 by Francis Maile
I tried my hand at writing a plugin for the WordPress blogging system which is the system this blog runs on. It didn’t turn out too badly. I hope to write more in the future. Appropriately enough, the plugin places a graphic link to The Hunger Site in the sidebar of a blog. The blog must be using a widget-aware theme.
The Hunger Site uses sponsored ads to donate money to hunger relief around the world. It costs nothing to the visitor to click on the link. When they click, they are taken to a page where they see ads. They don’t have to buy anything, sign up for anything, or do anything. The sponsors pay for showing you the ad. Just by clicking, you donate food to the hungry. – Good Karma!
Day 19
Posted on February 29th, 2008 by Francis Maile
I managed to sit somewhat earlier last night. It really is easier to sit when you’re not fighting to stay awake. I was a little calmer too, though I don’t know why.
Day 16 & 17 & 18
Posted on February 28th, 2008 by Francis Maile
I haven’t conquered the late nights yet. I’m still sitting though.
Day 15
Posted on February 25th, 2008 by Francis Maile
Simply could not get the mind to quiet. I gave in to it. Sat for the entire second half-hour just daydreaming. At least I sat.
Day 14
Posted on February 24th, 2008 by Francis Maile
I seem to be specializing in meditating by the midnight oil. I finished around midnight, again. As many of you know, when we sit we are confronted head-on with ourselves. I put off that unpleasant task is long as possible – as if that could somehow make it easier.
All self-flagellation aside, I did sit. So far I haven”t missed a day. The last time I tried doing this, I made it to around 60 days. During a move from California to Washington – between packing and driving and unpacking – I just quit sitting. I could have used the calming side effects of meditating at the time. It just began to feel like one more thing added to an already overfull schedule. I wimped out 
The family is taking a trip soon and I’ll have to figure out a way to stay on the program while we’re traveling. The physical act of sitting won’t be difficult. As usual, the tricky part will be getting the mind to the cushion. I considered waiting until after our return, but that was really just a way to delay starting. There never really is an ideal time to start a new habit, is there?
Day 13
Posted on February 23rd, 2008 by Francis Maile
I’ve heard it said that there is no such thing as bad or good meditation. You sit; that’s all. That’s some comfort as I spent the entire time this day lost in thoughts. Screwing myself all up over past events, old hurts and unalterable mistakes. But that’s good, right?
I’ve also mastered the art of counting my breaths to a count of ten, over and over, without any awareness whatsoever of either the counting or the breath. It happens in the background, flawlessly and effortlessly. But I’m not there for it!
But I keep coming back.
